This is the eighteenth post in the A-Z challenge (or it will be when I write some more…)
It is too late. I did everything wrong. And I knew it was wrong too. Oh, sure, at the time it was fun. I felt free, like an adult who can finally determine his own course in life. I thought I was clever. I would not have a boring, predictable life like my father, like my brother. I would make my fortune in the world, be somebody. But it went all wrong. The friends I thought I had did not care about me. They liked me as long as it was easy, as long as there were snacks and alcohol. When I was in trouble they vanished.
It was a shock when I found out all the money was gone. When I realized I was alone, without friends and without money, I didn’t give up. I looked for work. But I had no experience, no education, and the only work I was given was looking after pigs. If my father and my brother could see me now they would utterly despise me. My family had a farm, but we had only kosher animals. Goats, sheep. No pigs. My father warned me when I said goodbye. But I wanted to see the world, break free of the small restricted provincial living of my family. I would love to see my old home now. Nothing fancy, but much better than this stinking place. I would go back, if I could show them something. This I did! This I managed. Look, I made it big.
But how can I return the way things are with me now? I hardly have clothes. I didn’t have a real meal in weeks. I stink.
If they would only hire me. They always needed people when I still lived there. I know it is probably too much to ask. Still, the servants in my father’s house were never hungry. I don’t know how I will stand it but nothing could be worse than this.
I have to try. I will return. If they will only hire me…